The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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