now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize