I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
