We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just google imaged poop.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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