My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
farters have to be the big spoon...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
