Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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