Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
