Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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