My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
God I need to hump something, right now.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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