I'm eating all of the evidence.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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