i barfeds in our rink
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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