You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
