guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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