Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize