Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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