I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
