was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
