The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
