his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
