I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
