You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
