Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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