oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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