It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
