Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
