I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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