it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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