Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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