Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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