at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
