How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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