GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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