I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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