38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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