dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
