Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize