My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
