No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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