Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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