can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
