my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
