he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
