69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
