I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
