So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
