I need help removing her.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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