I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
