You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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