come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
