whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Non-Jews are for practice
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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