I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
