girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
