Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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