your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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