Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
