When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
