Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
