I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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