omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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