Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
