So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
