Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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