How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize