my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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