You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
