Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
