and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
