Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
