There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
