Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize