lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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