my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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