I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
