this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
