Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
