Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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